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August 03 2018

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This has been going on for quite a bit, so I feel I should address it before it goes too far out of hand.

These days, we have been seeing reboots of characters with minority casts. The most common of which is the All Female Reboot, where a cast dominated by males is replaced with one dominated by females. We saw this with Ghostbusters, the recent Ocean's 8, and soon Terminator will be joining this club.

This honestly feels to me like a gimmick, and I'm going to prove it to you. Imagine if the opposite situation happened, the All Male Reboot. Imagine if, say, The Powerpuff Girls announced they would be getting a reboot involving the three roles being replaced by three little boys. Imagine if a reboot of Sailor Moon had the Sailor Scouts replaced with a squad of High School boys.

The outcry would be massive. "How dare you take a feminist icon away from us!" "You're denying agency to women by replacing them with some guys!" Well... why is it okay to deny agency to men by replacing them with some nobody gal? The original Ghostbusters saw a union of four of the greatest comedians in a massive role; Ghostbusters 2016... isn't funny. But then I hear the alleged "feminists" say in defense of these reboots "We aren't taking the original away from you!" "Just judge it on its own merits!" Well, in that case... why is it when the movie has no merits you pull out the sexism card? And if these All Male Reboots came to be, wouldn't you guys complain about us taking the original away from you?

See, this is the problem with these reboots. They serve an immediate "Get Out Of Criticism Free Card" without any merits. If someone made a chair that falls apart when you sit on it, and I complain about the chair's shoddy quality, I don't care if you say "The chair was made by a minority! Hating the chair means you hate all minorities!" No, no I do not hate all minorities; I just hate the chair you made because it's a bad chair. If the reboots were good, who in their right mind would complain?

Worse, when you do this constantly, any future one of these will raise serious red flags in the eyes of the public. And then the studios will shut them down by saying "movies about minorities don't sell", and we'll be back to the Straight Wight Male Brigade. Then you'll be denied agency.

If you want a good feminist icon, make a new one, like Samus or the Powerpuff Girls. Don't kill and replace an old favorite of the audience like a flippin' T-1000.

July 17 2018

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The Current Year is just the gift that keeps on giving, isn't it? Ladies and gentlemen, let me present to you another example of blatant sexism... against men.

He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is quite possibly one of the manliest-named shows ever, and its protagonist is one of the manliest ever. His name is "He" and "Man" put together in one. He has bulging muscles and the outfit to show them off. He's so confident in his manhood, his prince outfit is pink and he still looks like a hunk. He's so much of a man, he's been joked about as being gay, just because he is so completely defined by "manhood". He's like the anti-Barbie, and people have made joke about it, too!

Naturally, toy companies wanted girls to be part of the market, too, so the same company behind He-Man also developed She-Ra and the Princesses of Power. It's basically a gender-swapped version of He-Man, down to every last detail. And, for what it was, it was good from a sociology directive. He-Man wears a skimpy outfit. So does She-Ra. He man uses a sword to fight. So does She-Ra. It's a perfect counterpoint in all regards, no problems, right?

Well... Netflix, the people behind such tolerant series as "Dear White People..." have agreed to fund a new show in the Masters of the Universe franchise. The kicker? It's a GRRL POWAH show starring She-Ra. And if you note the costume, it is completely devoid of sexy traits, and has a totally flat chest. After all, breasts are scary to women! Of course, by this logic, He-Man would be wearing a suit of armor that covers up us ripped, bulging abs, and should look like only like a man that consumes over twice his weight in soy products.

I joke, of course. A new He-Man series would never be made in The Current Year. For you see, the mere presence of men is damaging to women these days unless they serve basically as slaves, ER I MEAN guys to service women or villains of the eeeeeevil patriarchy! After all, if we're going for revenge, the only solution to a patriarchy is a matriarchy, right? But then, notice it's only men who are the problem. Masculine traits are worshiped in this society, and feminine traits are to be looked down upon and scorned. After all, it's only okay for a girl to be a man... and for a man to be a corpse.

The fact that the 1980's understood what the gender-reversal of He-Man would be like perfectly while the current era struggles is just sad. Even worse is that it came from a cynical attempt to sell toys, not that this new show is. Say hello to He-Ra!

April 18 2018

4795 ee48
Welcome to the first installment of our new direction! I just couldn't help myself; this isn't gonna always be a point-and-laugh show, but... this is so egregious I can't help but point it out. And laugh at it!

So I recently found that a statue of a mysterious "Rebel Terminator" is being made. Which tickles me because... there already IS a Rebel Terminator! It's Ahnold! In the majority of the movies! Honestly, the idea of a Rogue Terminator was fascinating in T2, but now it just makes Skynet look bad that all their machines keep turning against them!

But hey, if this was just a genderswapped Ahnold, I'd be fine with it. But aside from this design being too 2018 for its own good, let's take a look at the writeup for this thing. First off, I referred to Ahnold as a "Rogue Terminator" because of things like Attack on Titan, where you have the "Rogue Titan," or recently Pacific Rim Uprising with its "Rogue Jager." So what makes this one specifically designed to be a "rebel" instead of "rogue?" It's all on her gender; she's rebelling not just against Skynet, but the eeeeevil partiarchy! And I say it's against the patriarchy because of calling Skynet "oppressive". And what is the Social Justice Warrior's catchphrase if not "Help, I'm being oppressed!"

But the worst part about it is that she seems to have been turned on her own. So liberated is she by her human spirit that she somehow overcame her programming for... some reason. Never explained, because the logic behind having the males have to be reprogrammed and her just... well, magically being a good guy despite being a cold, unfeeling machine, of which others like her exist like the T-X and the Sarah Connor Chronicles Terminators, seems to be "QUIET! And there's a fresh one if you mouth off again."

Granted, I wouldn't object to a female Terminator being in the Ahnold type role. Cameron showed that it could work out well. It'd be even better if it was a female T-800 so she could have muscles. But all these modifiers make her too perfect, make her into a less interesting character, all because apparently women need to be coddled because they're "too fragile to have flaws." If that isn't condescending, I don't know what is.

But hey, maybe she's the reason why Skynet doesn't let Terminators learn on their own. And that it makes the T2 Terminator a victim of what is basically brainwashing is just hilarious.
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